Utente ospite
21 ottobre 2022
Arriving at the Hotel Spectrum in Trnava was not immediately inspiring; imagine you're in a dodgy-looking industrial estate in Slough that's been on Crimewatch. There's a gaggle of sketchy characters outside, some smoking enthusiastically, others spitting vigorously and some legendary multi-taskers are managing both. We enter reception and the smell-scape is an instant olfactory classic: high notes of boiled cabbage, embracing stale sweat and diesel with an undertone of despair interlaced with anxiety. The receptionist is a sullen, rude woman in her early thirties with ambitions of doing other things like pole-dancing with a snake or running escorts from a van. We check-in and, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, our fate is now sealed for the next 5 days in Trnava - for there are no rooms or hotel places available thanks to the World Powerlifting Championships being held there. The room was thoroughly grim, think more custodial sentence than mini-break, more community service than room service. The carpet was a cunningly-coloured faecal-brown affair, no doubt serving as camouflage for the stains and odours lurking deep within its insidious fibres. The bed was rock-hard and creaked constantly, the pillows were huge and stuffed with lumpy matter that defied successful identification, even after 5 days of strenuous and committed scrutiny. The bathroom was scuzzy with mould creeping around the edges of the shower almost as if even this hapless fungal organism harboured its very own deep concerns about stopping at the Hotel Rectum which is what by now we had taken to calling it. I am 55 and have travelled and stayed in hotels in almost 80 countries, so is the very worst hotel I've stayed in? Almost folks but that notorious accolade still belongs to The Hotel Lefkas, an establishment where, unlike the Hotel Rectum, the guests spat in the actual hotel rather than just outside it. So my advice is this, unless you're a recklessly adventurous bacteriologist or a novice people-trafficker on a budget, stay far away from this place.
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