Oaks Motel Greensboro NC

Situated in what they describe as 'a prime location in the center of Greensboro, NC (actually about 4 miles outside it) lies the Apes, sorry Oaks Motel. A city we visited solely to stalk a reality TV star, who has much to answer for. A place where your initial excitement at being told you've been upgraded to the best room they have soon turns to horror when you realise it's located right amongst the permanent residents including *********** and trustees of modern chemistry. My concerns began upon seeing the zombie-like faces pressed against their windows as we unloaded the car and were only made worse by the smell of urine in our doorway. We would later learn that the real reason we got the 'better' room was because it was probably the only one not infested with roaches and bed bugs. On the topic of Category 2 infestations, it was impossible to move freely around the motel premises without being accosted for money. The fast food joints opposite the motel also seemed to attract the patrons like flies round stool, forcing us to abandon any hopes of sampling the local Cook Out cusine. Knocks at our door soon followed, and after hearing comments about loving my accent and was I married, I paid the aging beauty $20 to NOT take advantage of her services. Which despite her saying would help catch up on rent, was clearly spent on narcotics as a dealer in a V8 rocked up about midnight, setting in motion a party which lasted until 7am. Not that my friend was sleeping anyway after his bed collapsed. He is unsure whether the revving vehicles, hollering and jabbering, or fireworks were the highlight of his evening. Our room itself was the best part of the experience. Two separate bedrooms, even if the wall between them only reached halfway to the ceiling. Plenty of desks, armchairs and sofas, even if the toenail left on the bedside table was a feature I didn't ask for. The bathroom was a bit run down - the toilet for example seemed a few gallons away from it's last flush and the resident spider in the shower actually died during our first night. I also wasn't convinced by their electrics either when I found myself having to drag the fridge freezer across the floor so it would reach a socket. Which it then proceeded to trip repeatedly. The most positive thing I can say about this experience is that we lived. We were safe because they 'like the way I talk'.