Selborne Hotel

Selbourne Hotel is a horrible hotel, the worst hotel I've ever stayed in. Its only selling point is the wonderful view across the Firth of Clyde. The hotel itself is dirty, smelly, with shabby decor. Run-down and grubby everywhere. It's like something from the 70s. Banisters sticky, haven't seen polish in decades. Carpets are dirty and fraying. Smells of stale cigarette smoke throughout. Exposed wiring on areas of 2nd floor. Lift is not clean. Lighting everywhere is dingy. Badly creaking floorboards throughout. Virtually no disabled facilities. Loads of steps down to the garden. Some steps up and down to rooms even after getting out of the lift. Given this hotel caters mainly for seniors on coach tours that's a very bad show. Room: My room was sold as a 'superior' room. What a joke! Furniture was so old it was falling apart. One tiny wardrobe and chest of drawers with a handle broken off. Power and usb points weren't working. Overbed light did not work. Little evidence of housekeeping. Carpet wasn't hoovered. Just bins emptied and bed made. No toiletries provided. Bath had grubby sealant along the edge to stop the shower screen moving. Patches of mould. Cracked bathroom tiles. Shower temperature impossible to regulate. Room too hot but no air con or even a fan! Food review: Disgusting and revolting. Everything is bought 'on the cheap'. All from tins, packets and freezer. No fresh ingredients used at all. No real cooking involved. Overdone and tasteless. Extremely poor quality, nothing is well presented. Measly portion sizes. Very limited choice. An 'either/or'. If you don't like it no attempt made to offer anything else. Seems they ration everything. Had to take butter etc from neighbouring table when the guests had left. Dining room tables sticky, not cleaned properly. No tablecloths, crockery had food residue. No cups and saucers, chipped mugs with the spoon in. Cutlery was tarnished. Waiting staff do their very best and were always pleasant but too few of them so service is slow and the awful food is made worse by being lukewarm. On a positive note Ben our waiter was friendly and helpful. Also Susan on reception was informative and helpful. The manager though is very rude and officious. A jobsworth with no people skills. Had the temerity to leave a curt note on the tables not to arrive for meals before the allocated time!! No decent establishment allocates timeslots nowadays. Entertainment: Not up to much. Mostly bingo or a mediocre singer miming to backing tracks. Bar: I'm not a big drinker but seemed a reasonable selection and price. Bar staff friendly enough. Lounge: Dreadful. Like a grotty rugby club. All in all a huge disappointment. It's a shame. This hotel should be capitalising on its prime location. It needs millions of pounds spending on it. Employ a younger, forward looking manager with guest welfare at heart. It could be a flagship hotel, instead it's a carbuncle.